Sadness and ego

When someone hurts you, the first reaction is often, to hurt them back. To let them feel the pain you have experienced. “You can’t hurt me, you should love me”.

We live on Earth and every human being has emotions. Even the ego is part of us. But if you are feeling sad and powerless. It’s no use staying in this anger, because it will consume you.

Lots of people have never learned how to deal with their emotions. It’s only logical, because most old Souls among us, have had a very bad childhood, and little support from their surroundings. Which makes them suppress their emotions, and switch into ‘survival mode’.

Still it’s very important to learn how to love yourself. Of course you can expect equality and love from the people around you. But this can also be asked in a loving and respectful manner.

The moment someone hurts you, your inner child is hurt as well. It gets very angry and wants revenge. Or to understand why someone would hurt them, “what have I done wrong?!?”

The reality is, that most people don’t even know why they are doing the things they do. They are living an unconscious life. And are stuck in their vicious cycle.

They don’t have self-esteem, and you are looking for love from them. How can they give this love to you, if they don’t even posess it themselves? Keep asking fort this love, is the same as finding water in the desert. You may find some, but it won’t last.

Feeling sad of course doesn’t mean you are a selfish person. In fact probably you have never expressed your emotions, or not enough. So if one wound opens, many more do too. Insecurity, not feeling good enough, feeling abandoned, etc.

You should be more kind to yourself, feel compassion towards yourself. Your inner child only wants to be cherished. She is sad, and wants attention, to be heared. Often it’s not more than comforting her. And to understand where it is coming from.

Were your parents unable to give you Unconditional Love, and your partner can’t give it to you either? Then this trauma will keep coming back, as life lessons.

As long as you are dependant on another person to make you happy, to fill the love INSIDE of you, then you still haven’t learned the lesson of self-love.

Of course we are all insecure at times, and that’s ok. You can be aware of it, and still follow through. You don’t have to be perfect, this takes the pressure off a bit.

Your inner saboteur (ego) is trying to convince you, that you don’t deserve love or happiness. But it’s easily recognized, usually these people are saying:

“It’s my fate to be unhappy, I always have bad luck, nobody loves me, I’m a failure, I want him/her to feel what they have put me through”.

But as long as you are willing to change the other person, it’s not Unconditional Love either. True love heales, and doesn’t know vengeance.

If you start loving yourself, you will show the other person how you honour yourself, how to set bounderies, and put yourself first. How you respect them, and allow them to gain insight, and give them the freedom to make their own choices in life. Only when you have lived through these lessons, you are fully transformed.

There will always be people that never change, that stay negative, depressive, feeling a victim of life, or have toxic energy. But you can’t banish everyone from your life. And this is also not always necessary.

The lesson is to find a way to deal with each other. Don’t feed their drama story. First they will try to challenge you even more, to steal your energy. But if you don’t fall for it, they will soon stop.

Usually these people vanish from your life. Or they change a little bit, just enough to deal with each other, on holidays. You can learn that you are no longer responsible forthem, or their happiness, and life lessons.

As soon as you see that it’s not your job to change others, you will feel more inner peace. Of course you are still angry or sad from time to time, but that’s part of life. And you learn how to deal with it. By allowing yourself these emotions, to live through them, let them ‘explode’, and see what’s behind these layers of sadness. This way, you will get to know yourself even better.

Love starts from within, your own Source, so this love can radiate out into the world, and attract like-minded people (or soulmates).

© Arlette
 

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Datum: 26-08-'18

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